I Can't Keep Going Like This: What to Do First

I was 29, in a car on the Sydney Harbour Bridge, and I was sure my heart had stopped.

It hadn't.

If you've caught yourself thinking "I can't keep going like this," don't quit, sell or make a big plan yet. Get your body checked by a doctor first. Then spend one week measuring where your energy goes before you change anything. That sentence is a signal to find the leak, not proof you've failed.

For days before, I'd had chest pains. I kept going anyway, because I had a talk to give to 200 TV executives and I wasn't going to cancel over a sore chest. I gave the talk. Not long after, I was in that car, and the next thing I remember is waking up with lights flashing in my face.

In the days after, one sentence went round and round my head. I can't keep going like this.

The sentence is a signal, not a verdict

The bridge wasn't where my problem started. It started in all the days before it, when every signal said stop and I kept going, because work was where I got measured.

Most people who come to me haven't had their bridge yet. They have the slow version. The World Health Organization describes it as exhaustion, growing cynicism about your work and a sense you're less effective. Owners recognise it faster as a feeling: the best of your energy goes to work, and the people at home get what's left.

If the sentence has started to surface for you, you're in large company. About one in three Australian business owners reports moderate or higher psychological distress, according to the Small Business Ombudsman.

First: rule out the body

It wasn't my heart. It was a panic attack, and I'd done it to myself. I'd ignored chest pain for days. Don't. If you have chest pain, call 000. Panic attacks and heart attacks can feel alike from the inside, and only a doctor can tell them apart.

After the bridge, my doctor said, "This is the second time we've seen you in three months. We don't want to see you a third time." That line did more for me than any book. Get a GP to look at your sleep, your heart and your mood. If you need to talk to someone tonight, Lifeline is on 13 11 14.

"I can't keep going like this" is the most honest sentence a business owner can say. The mistake is treating it as a reason to run, when it's a reason to look.

Week one: measure, don't fix

When you walk in the door each night, stop for five seconds and give yourself a number out of 10 for what's left in the tank. Write it in your phone. Do it for seven nights and don't fix anything yet.

Measuring first feels slow. It's the fastest route I know, because you can't plug a leak until you know where it is. By the end of the week most people can name the day, the meeting or the person behind their lowest number.

Week two: find the leak

Now sort the last seven days. Draw three columns: drained, neutral, restored. Everything goes in one of them: meetings, people, training, the commute, the hour on your phone after dinner.

The restored column is usually the shortest. Protect what's in it first, before you add anything new. For me that was training and, later, breathwork. Breathing practice isn't fluff, either. In a Stanford trial, five minutes a day of slow, exhale-led breathing improved mood more than mindfulness meditation over a month.

What not to do yet

Don't quit, sell or announce a new direction in the first fortnight. Decisions made at a two out of 10 are about escape, not direction.

Don't try to find your purpose yet either. If you try that while you're running on empty, you end up with a vision you're too tired to live. Energy comes first. The bigger question, who you are without the title, comes second. The full order is in how to recover from burnout as a business owner.

What it looks like fifteen years later

Fifteen years after the bridge, you'll find me every Wednesday at 4pm on the sideline of a girls' football pitch. It's the least impressive thing on my calendar and the thing I'm proudest of.

There's a version of me who skips it. He's busier and probably richer, and his daughters remember a dad on his phone at the edge of the pitch. The man on the Harbour Bridge was well on his way to being him.

What's your Wednesday at 4pm?

Find out which part is hitting you hardest

I named my free 5-minute check after that sentence. Can You Keep Going Like This? is twelve statements and shows you whether it's mostly energy or mostly identity. If you're ready to fix both, The Visionary Protocol is eight self-paced sessions: two to stop the leak, six to rebuild the reason.

FAQ

What should I do when I feel like I can't keep going?
Get any physical symptoms checked by a doctor first, especially chest pain. Then spend a week scoring your energy out of 10 each night before changing anything. Measuring shows you where the leak is.

Can burnout cause a panic attack?
Chronic stress can contribute to panic attacks, and they can feel like a heart attack. Never assume chest pain is stress. Call 000 and let a doctor rule out your heart.

Should I quit my business if I'm burnt out?
Not straight away. Decisions made when you're exhausted tend to be about escape. Restore some energy first, then decide with a clearer head.

How do I know if it's burnout or just a busy patch?
A busy patch ends and you bounce back after a weekend. Burnout persists after rest, with exhaustion, cynicism about your work and a sense you're less effective, the three signs the WHO lists.

Who should I talk to about burnout in Australia?
Start with your GP. For support right now, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. Call 000 in an emergency.